Mr. Crotchety by Amooi Rich

Author:Amooi, Rich [Amooi, Rich]
Language: eng
Format: epub, azw3
Published: 2015-10-11T04:00:00+00:00

Chapter Eleven

“Hang on!” said Sally, talking with Portia the next morning. She tossed the phone on the bed and slipped on her white skirt. Then she pulled a lilac blouse over her head and checked herself out in the mirror.

Perfect.

Comfortable. Professional. No cleavage.

She loved the way Roger looked at her last night, like she was the most beautiful woman in the world, but she needed to get serious and find him a house today.

She grabbed the phone from the bed. “Roger kissed me on the forehead last night!”

“Yes!”

“But he doesn’t even know I know he kissed me.”

“Wait. How is that possible he doesn’t know you know he kissed you? Hold on, I’m getting some sort of a déjà vu. Yeah, this reminds me of a movie. Which one was it? Oh, oh, oh…that one with Rachel McAdams where she meets that guy in some weird club where it’s pitch dark. They chat for a long time without knowing what the other person looks like and they have a wonderful chat! Then they leave the club and go outside and find out what the other person looks like. And they were both pleasantly surprised! What was that movie?”

“About Time.”

“Yes! Love that movie. So, is that what happened?”

“No! I haven’t been to a club since Bon Jovi was living on a prayer. Roger kissed me and I pretended I was asleep.”

“You were in bed?”

“Things are so difficult to explain to you sometimes. Okay, don’t speak and I’ll explain. We were watching An Affair to Remember.”

“Love that movie.”

“I know, but don’t speak.”

“Sorry.”

“Anyway, it was the end of the movie and the part I was waiting for.”

“Deborah Kerr is on the couch and Cary Grant pulls her in for a wonderful embrace.”

“I’m going to hang up on you.”

“My mouth is zipped now.”

“So, I like to sometimes close my eyes during that part and pretend I’m there and Cary Grant is kissing me. But my fantasy of Cary turned into the reality of Roger when I felt his lips on my forehead. It was so hard to pretend I was asleep. I almost jumped out of my skin. We were inches apart. I could hear him breathing and could feel his heat. I could smell that wonderful fresh scent of his—a mix of citrus and buttered popcorn. And I was feeling warm feelings!”

Portia screamed. “I love warm feelings!”

“Me too!”

“Speaking of which, I met someone.”

Sally stared at the phone. She must have heard her wrong. After Portia’s messy divorce she went on a mission to eliminate everything in her life that was connected to a penis. Any DVD or romance novel with a man on the cover was donated to Goodwill. Male singers in her iTunes were deleted. She unfriended every man on Facebook. She changed cubicles at the office and moved to the corner where she was positioned in between a female agent and the wall. She cut her hair super-short thinking it would scare the men away. Instead, her bold new look made her appear more confident and attracted even more men than before.

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